The Key to Stop Worrying About Everything:
This year I will learn to stop worrying about absolutely every damn thing! Why we worry and how we can cope.
B/Wdetail: The Visitation oil on woodpanel 48” x 24”
There it is ! the bold New Years Resolution. Does sound brave doesn't it, like a challenge. Uh wait, oh, what if my worries get to hear about this, will they all come banging on my door at 3am in the middle of the night saying, “so, we heard you were talking about us….”? Oh blast!, they do that already. I am one of a small but not too small, tribe of worriers, (not warriors)!, who worry about things all the time. My worries have worries. I am not alone. Our tribe worry about work, about money, about being abandoned or rejected, being attacked, people we love unloving us, being disappointing, being a disgrace, a joke, a loser and last but not least, going utterly bonkers and ending up lonely in a cold ditch with no one to love us.
I may ask myself, how on earth has such irrational worrying come to play such a central place in my life? To understand this I look to the famous English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott who wrote in his essay, quote:
‘the catastrophe you fear will happen, has in fact already happened!’.
This is quite a startling statement. When we worry about all the lurking tragedies that may befall us, naturally we get fixated that its going to happen in the future. Winnicott unexpectedly states, ‘the thing we fear may befall us is actually behind us’. Paradoxically we are panicking over something that's already happened. So why on earth do we mix up the past and the present? According to Winnicott its in the very nature of those undead zombies of our early life traumas, not being fully mourned and buried, coming back and running amok through our adult pastures, like extras from the movie set of 28 Days Later.
Luckily Winnicott’s thesis holds the key to us worriers redemption and cure. That we hold within us the power to replace chronic worrying, dread and apprehension with something sadder, but that will yet ultimately deliver and save us. We can swap compassion and understanding for our past selves instead of giving anxiety and worry to our future selves. When things cause us worry we can remind ourselves we do have the adult skills to manage and change things now. We can work our way through our troubles and challenges. The way I see it, us worrier’s have two choices, remove all sources of worry from our world or work on our attitude to our anxieties, keeping in mind many of those worries have hidden childhood roots. My responses don’t have to be the same as in my past. I can make a greater effort to meet my fears with greater confidence and emotional strength. So for 2023, I will strive this year seek greater inner peace by growing up those left-behind parts of my self that need help maturing and reap the rewards of a happier, healthier life knowing everything can and will be ok. And our outdated zombies can stay in the past.
Hi!, I am Stephanie Tihanyi, an artist-painter and illustrator. Welcome to my blog. This is where I write about my work, influences, exhibitions and latest news.
Follow My Journey
Sign up for my latest blog-posts in my monthly newsletter.
Blog Categories